I've been single now for a couple years after having called off an engagement which propelled me to look at myself a little closer and figure out what I truly DESIRE. It's been very enlightening to say the least! I'm finally feeling like I am ready to put myself out there and "Call in the ONE", so they say...but oh my gosh, it's not easy at this stage in my life! Being 32 and single is not the same as being 21 and single, that's for sure!
So I find myself doing all the things you're 'supposed' to do, one of which brings me to my little story. I went to a very trendy Whole Foods (if you can imagine there is such a thing--only in L.A.) in Venice, CA at the height of dinner hour, and got myself something to eat in the prepared foods section. I decided to sit down at one of the booths all by myself to eat my dinner. I honestly didn't even have the intention of doing this to 'troll for guys', but was just so hungry and actually thoroughly enjoy dining out solo.
Needless to say, a guy named Abdul approached me in my second mid-bite. While flattered, it was kind of awkward getting hit on by this guy that I wasn't interested in. He was nice enough, and I enjoyed his conversation, but ultimately, I wanted to get back to eating and have him leave me to it...but he proceeded to ask me for my number! I am a sucker for being too nice, and of course agreed to going out with him and then passing out my digits...how could I say NO?! I mean, I was cornered, right?!
I got his text later that night and decided not to respond to his invitation to take me out...how rude! I didn't know what to say! The next morning I woke up with a fresh perspective and realized that you know what, if I ever want good things to come to me in my life, I must think right, speak right and act right, as Master Kabbalist, Dr. Levry states. So I decided to be completely truthful, and unbelievably ridiculous in my response!
I texted him back the next morning saying that I enjoyed meeting him, that I appreciated his confidence in approaching me and asking me out, but that I didn't want to give him the wrong idea if I took him up on his offer. I acknowledged that I shouldn't have given him my number or given him the impression that I did want to go out in the first place, but that he was so nice I couldn't bear to crush his ego in that moment. I then wished him the best of luck in his dating life and immediately deleted the actual text I sent him because it was so cringe-worthy! I couldn't bear to look at it again but you get the gist of it...if you saw the actual text you would be rolling your eyes from all the cheesy emoticons and unnecessary enthusiasm I used, but his response was very grateful non-the-less.
The lesson is this: do unto others as you would do unto yourself and be AUTHENTIC!
Not to make myself out to be so significant in this situation, but what if by my not responding to him, or leading him on in any way, were to have discouraged him from maybe approaching the possible love of his life at that very Whole Foods had he been given another chance?! You see, it's all karma! I wouldn't want my actions to get in the way of his destiny!
We are all responsible for our behavior, in the big scheme of things. We all make mistakes as life happens from moment to moment, but it is our duty to continue to clean up our side of the street as we evolve and learn to become better people each day. Be mindful and kind to all people, as if they were your brothers, sisters or neighbors, but most importantly, stay true to yourself. As my step father always says, "Take care of yourself and the rest will fall into place". I do believe that, but we must do it with kindness, integrity and love. Each encounter is a test--I hope this one brings me that much closer to Mr. Right:)
Sat Nam and Love,