I was talking to a friend the other day about how within this last year I've luckily been able to find new balance in my life, and avoid the extremes of my former Macrobiotic lifestyle, to invite in a new life that is now teaching me the art of moderation. I had to soften and open up by way of Ayurveda and my Vinyasa Yoga practice, to be able to invite in a little more play and exploration, but it has been a long journey out of the rabbit hole I dug for myself!
The topic of balance is something I've grappled with for a long time and have briefly touched on it in past posts, but have since found a newfound understanding of the significance in finding balance between two extremes.
As many of you know, I was a 'hard core Macro manic' a few years ago and completely dug myself into a hole that I couldn't find my way out of! I had no idea how I could stop the intensity and rigidity of my ways because I wanted to do everything perfectly! How could I pull away from one area without it all falling apart?!
I was inspired by becoming healthy through this new lifestyle, but was wondering where that other person who used to be so fun could have possibly been hiding! It was as if I left her completely...there was no trace!
I had swung from one side of the pendulum of having too much fun of drinking alcohol, eating sweets and such, to the complete other side of a strict self care life of no sugar, no alcohol, and obsessed with following 'the rules'! I was able to see that my new 'good' ways had replaced my old 'bad' ways, and that really it was just as bad to be good as it was to be bad, but I didn't know where to begin to find moderation!...extremes are never good, even if they're meant to be...
It was a slow climb out of the rabbit hole of my 'healthy' extremes when I started realizing I couldn't even enjoy being social anymore if I were to break out in a blood blister if I ate something that I didn't normally eat, or if I had a horrible night sleep after only one glass of wine...I was struggling to save a part of my old self while culvitating a new and improved one. I talk about it in one of my posts.
I'm now cultivating moderation! Ayurveda helped me to soften out of my strict Macro ways, but now that I'm newly enjoying being in a relationship, I'm learning that I can enjoy all the things I love without going to one extreme. Ha! Who knew this is what I needed?!
I'm finding I'm living outside my 'safe comfort zone of routine' by staying up late, eating later than usual, eating things I wouldn't normally, drinking wine, etc., but here's the amazing part ~ I'm not even feeling the extreme effects I normally would have before because I'm exploring more by introducing new ways of enjoying life, and I'm relaxed!!! When your mind, emotions and body are relaxed, everything is assimilated with grace! Wahe Guru!
This may sound easy to you, but it was so hard for me to drop my attachments of what I 'knew' (ego driven mind set) to be good for me and open up to the possibility of maybe a new paradigm of what could be 'good for me' as well.
Moderation is good for me. Balance and flow are key. By softening and relaxing the mind around these attachments, I slowly released my emotions of anxiety and fear around stepping out of my rigidity, and into a place that actually felt safe to explore life's treasures of joy.
The physical body follows suit. It all starts in the mind and manifests itself in the physical body. My mind said NO to many things, so my emotions became fearful and my body rejected things accordingly. Now my mind says YES (with mindfulness) and my fears fall away and my body relaxes to accept, assimilate and digest what I'm feeding it.
It's a whole new world of exploring joy, which is love, which is peace, which is light, and truth! Cultivating balance is yoga and meditation in action. Life is a balance, a yin and yang, a time for play and a time for self care.
I thank God for the gift of finding Macrobiotics to teach me how to heal and cook for myself and I also thank God for helping me out of that lifestyle that became too rigid.
While Macrobiotics healed some parts of my body, it also aggravated others, so I feel grateful to have eased out of my extreme through Ayurveda practices, which allowed me to nourish what needed nurturing, and to strengthen and soften so I could open up to love and play, which in turn invited in a boyfriend who is now giving me the gift of learning how to find more moderation, more fun, more light, more flow.