Happiness Is: Learning to Embrace Slowing Down

purple passion plant Thank God for this place in my life, for showing me how to achieve balance and teaching me to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. I don't know about you, but I'm much more comfortable with the doing, rather than the non-doing!

For most of my life, I've been pushing and pushing to do things the way I think they 'should' be done, and getting really carried away with it when I thought I was doing so much 'good' with my self care practices. {I talk more about it in this post.} Self care took on a whole new life of its own and I lost myself in the mix, until these past couple years since I dug myself out of the 'rabbit hole,' and back to my heart's harmony.

I finally did all the work I needed to (for now), to be able to manifest this time in my life, where I am finally grounded, finally doing less, and finally enjoying my life in each day and each moment! So why is it that I struggle with this place?! It took a lot of programming to get me to be the way I was, and it will take a lot of de-programming to let go of those old habits/thoughts I guess...

I'm so quick to beat myself up if I didn't go for a walk, or if I've been eating too much chocolate lately, or I'm sleeping in too late, or I'm not doing much at all! Why do we always need to DO!? Self care is oh-so important, but so is balance and flow, grace and ease!

I'm trying to be okay with things just as they are, because everything does ebb and flow, and who knows how long I'll be able to have luxurious sleep in sessions! (hello future babies!) And chocolate isn't the end of the world if I'm also eating kale, right?! The house doesn't have to be perfectly decorated, or cleaned up...things can be just as they are; we don't need to keep chasing them and cleaning up after ourselves. What's the point? Where are we trying to get?!!! That is the question.

I keep reminding myself that it's quite alright to do yoga when I feel like it, rather than beating myself up if I don't go. It's also much more enjoyable to get to go for a walk then trying to cram one more thing into my day. I also get excited to go to work when I have 3 days off in a row, even though I beat myself up for all that free time, thinking, 'come on Kate, you can do one more shift per week' can't you!? But ya know what, it's so much more lovely to have time and space for me to do...NOTHING! Quality of life is everything, and if we simplify, we can eliminate that need for MORE.

This is my work now ~ refraining from 'working' on anything and just 'being', or mastering not mastering...HA!

Do you have a hard time relaxing, or enjoying precious time? Ahh, life and the endless human suffering of always looking for more, and never being satisfied with what is...keeping in mind that Buddha found everything in nothing, not endless distractions from our soul, attachments and that is where we find God, and that is enlightenment folks! ;)

Sat Nam and Wahe Guru!


Evolve: Practicing Moderation

peaceI was talking to a friend the other day about how within this last year I've luckily been able to find new balance in my life, and avoid the extremes of my former Macrobiotic lifestyle, to invite in a new life that is now teaching me the art of moderation. I had to soften and open up by way of Ayurveda and my Vinyasa Yoga practice, to be able to invite in a little more play and exploration, but it has been a long journey out of the rabbit hole I dug for myself!

The topic of balance is something I've grappled with for a long time and have briefly touched on it in past posts, but have since found a newfound understanding of the significance in finding balance between two extremes.

As many of you know, I was a 'hard core Macro manic' a few years ago and completely dug myself into a hole that I couldn't find my way out of! I had no idea how I could stop the intensity and rigidity of my ways because I wanted to do everything perfectly! How could I pull away from one area without it all falling apart?!

I was inspired by becoming healthy through this new lifestyle, but was wondering where that other person who used to be so fun could have possibly been hiding! It was as if I left her completely...there was no trace!

I had swung from one side of the pendulum of having too much fun of drinking alcohol, eating sweets and such, to the complete other side of a strict self care life of no sugar, no alcohol, and obsessed with following 'the rules'! I was able to see that my new 'good' ways had replaced my old 'bad' ways, and that really it was just as bad to be good as it was to be bad, but I didn't know where to begin to find moderation!...extremes are never good, even if they're meant to be...

bostonIt was a slow climb out of the rabbit hole of my 'healthy' extremes when I started realizing I couldn't even enjoy being social anymore if I were to break out in a blood blister if I ate something that I didn't normally eat, or if I had a horrible night sleep after only one glass of wine...I was struggling to save a part of my old self while culvitating a new and improved one. I talk about it in one of my posts.

I'm now cultivating moderation! Ayurveda helped me to soften out of my strict Macro ways, but now that I'm newly enjoying being in a relationship, I'm learning that I can enjoy all the things I love without going to one extreme. Ha! Who knew this is what I needed?!

I'm finding I'm living outside my 'safe comfort zone of routine' by staying up late, eating later than usual, eating things I wouldn't normally, drinking wine, etc., but here's the amazing part ~ I'm not even feeling the extreme effects I normally would have before because I'm exploring more by introducing new ways of enjoying life, and I'm relaxed!!! When your mind, emotions and body are relaxed, everything is assimilated with grace! Wahe Guru!

This may sound easy to you, but it was so hard for me to drop my attachments of what I 'knew' (ego driven mind set) to be good for me and open up to the possibility of maybe a new paradigm of what could be 'good for me' as well.

Moderation is good for me. Balance and flow are key. By softening and relaxing the mind around these attachments, I slowly released my emotions of anxiety and fear around stepping out of my rigidity, and into a place that actually felt safe to explore life's treasures of joy.

The physical body follows suit. It all starts in the mind and manifests itself in the physical body. My mind said NO to many things, so my emotions became fearful and my body rejected  things accordingly. Now my mind says YES (with mindfulness) and my fears fall away and my body relaxes to accept, assimilate and digest what I'm feeding it.

It's a whole new world of exploring joy, which is love, which is peace, which is light, and truth! Cultivating balance is yoga and meditation in action. Life is a balance, a yin and yang, a time for play and a time for self care.

I thank God for the gift of finding Macrobiotics to teach me how to heal and cook for myself and I also thank God for helping me out of that lifestyle that became too rigid.

While Macrobiotics healed some parts of my body, it also aggravated others, so I feel grateful to have eased out of my extreme through Ayurveda practices, which allowed me to nourish what needed nurturing, and to strengthen and soften so I could open up to love and play, which in turn invited in a boyfriend who is now giving me the gift of learning how to find more moderation, more fun, more light, more flow.

Wahe Guru!