Moving is always on my brain. Where to settle? Where to plant some roots? These are the incessant questions that consume my brain! What am I looking for you ask? To have it all in one place! To have my family nearby (but not too close), to have warm sunshine conducive to outdoor living and activity (but season changes), to have a vibrant, energetic lifestyle of young (ish), creative, successful people who have an edgy style (but not too cool for school), who enjoy their life by going out to cool/'sceney' restaurants, who have open, cultural perspectives on life and a zest for 'living it up', a healthy lifestyle environment filled with many healthy restaurants and markets, a city filled with events and festivals, and lots of things to do and see at any given time of the year! Is that too much to ask??
It seems as if I had it all in L.A., but my family was on the opposite coast! Too far for me to feel connected I concluded. Not to mention the fact that I longed for a walking city type of environment, rather than the jam packed traffic mobs of the sprawling metropolitan that is L.A. I also failed to mention that while I loved the weather, I craved the momentum of seasons changing. The grass is always greener philosophy at it's finest!
So, here I am thinking Miami might be the answer! Or Boston. Or NYC...aaahhh! Which to choose?!
As you all know by now, from my previous post, I came back to my New England roots and have been in this paralyzed type state of being for about a year and a half now. I'm as anxious as ever to get out and spread my wings in the world, but too afraid to leave the comforts of home, knowing that that inevitable longing may very well creep up on me.
I recognize that the fact that I'm single is probably playing a role as to why I feel the need for family comfort. I'm filling a void. But I also don't want to live my life based on where my family is. I also acknowledge that there's a time and place for everything in life, and maybe this is the time in my life where I need the support and love from my family! So many things to consider...
But my heart wants to feel the energy and be inspired by my surroundings! I feel limited and suppressed when I'm not. How do I find the balance between two completely different entities? How do I make them both happy? It's like mothering two children within! One wants an ice cream and the other wants a cup of soup! This is the analogy from the work I was so fortunate to do with my spiritual coach in regards to my business and nutritional areas of my life. She helped me manage my relationship with food in this way.
We confirmed that my heart desires a lot! I have the energy of Uranus in my planetary make up, which brings about a vastness! It wants to be anywhere and everywhere! Story of my life...
I just love so many things!!!! I liken it to my excitement and overwhelmingness of being at a healthy, innovative restaurant where I want to eat everything on the menu! What's a girl to do? Obviously, I can only have one meal...but I want so much more!!!! That desire is so strong and pulls me in so many directions, but I have to keep myself in check and only give the inner children what they need in this moment. Recognizing that all of my hearts needs will be met in due time is my yoga practice off the mat.
There is no space in time and no time in space in the spiritual realm, but here in the physical world, we are faced with limitations and conditions. I am trying to cultivate being in the present moment to ground myself, to find God, my inner spirit, my own truth and guidance, rather than getting caught up in the wanting of something more. It's a great challenge of mine, but I'm trying to find that balance point where I can find freedom and love!